Molly's Life Part 1 ~ I like boys

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:

You will realize this is a bit more rambly than the normal stories I write. I am trying very hard to write this series as if it came from a diary.

This means the grammar may be horrid at times especially in early entries. I was always better at editing after the fact than I was at writing with good grammar. My brain moved faster than I could possibly type. In some ways I am modeling molly's journey after mine. Maybe not the stories but the growth and realizations reached.

 I didn't date my diary as a child and I am modeling it after that format. It may seem a bit muddied but I will do my best to let you see how much time has elapsed between entries. My current outline jumps sometimes only days, sometimes years.

 NO part of this story is meant to resemble anyone in real life. it is a work of fiction. If you know me well you may recognize some events or people who have had their names changed (or maybe not changed). Don't ask me "is this part real?" or "is that how it really happened?" or "did he really say that?" because I won't answer except to say "Whatever do you mean, that blog is a work of fiction, it says so in the title!"

This story starts out written the way I used to write in my diary. It would sit for months, even years not written in and then I would fill an entire journal in the span of a week and start a new one only to taper off again.

I love you all and hope this new venture and method of telling the story in my head is easy for you to eventually follow and I hope it finds you rooting for Molly's happily ever after as we watch her blossom into an adult. I know I am :)

UPDATE from the author: Molly's life is now being turned into a novel highlighting the trials of her adult life and how they tie in to the ups and downs highlighted in her diary. I hope to have finalized excerpts published soon for all of you who have been cheering her through her childhood. I will be publishing hopefully in print as well is in the more modern "e" formats as funds permit. I plan on continuing more detailed short stories about Molly and the people she met along the way after publication.


I Like Boys--


My name is Molly and I am hot. No no wait, I don't mean I am HOT. Like I am not pretty or sexy or anything. I am just a kid. But it is REALLY hot out and I have to stay outside but I am not allowed under the  hose because I am grounded so I am pretty grumpy about it.

Let me give you my sob story first so you know I am not just a miserable brat. Well, I wasn't always a miserable brat. I was taken in by this family when I was barely over a year old, so pretty lucky to get taken out of orphanages so young. yeah yeah I know I could have been starving and living in dorms with neglected foster kids. This family really wanted kids and couldn't have any. So they took in me and a few other kids. The one I most remember was Kenneth. He was still around by the time I was in kindergarten and the others were long gone. So I can picture Kenny's face and remember conversations. I guess he was too bad for my new mom to handle. I am told he pushed her into a washer while she was pregnant and it was a final straw kinda thing. I don't remember that happening I remember us fighting over toys (he always had the better ones in my opinion I am such a tomboy) and I remember the day he left.

I was a goody two shoe obsessed with perfect attendance and didn't want to miss school so I went even though mom was going to let me stay home. I cried before, I cried on the way and I fought the tears in school. I think about him now years later but not much I can do about it. He calls and leaves messages on my birthday. Our parties are always on the Saturday closest to the day after 5pm vigil mass. he often calls during the party. Always makes me smile thinking about it after because it is like a nice dig at my mom it seems. Making sure no one forgets that he existed. She doesn't let me answer the phone but it still makes my day hearing his voice.

So now I am the one with a smart mouth. I shirk off the chores I get because they are so non stop and get in some minor trouble mostly being bored. I am pretty much always grounded. You can decide later if I deserve it or not I am pretty biased on the subject. Those parents that adopted me? Well now they have 5 kids. I am the oldest, the only adopted child. The oldest natural child is the "favorite" it is her picture in 8 x 10s on our great grandmom's wall, not mine. In fact last time I was there the only picture I saw of me was a little wallet sized in a  frame with a bunch of other wallet sized pictures.

OK you get the picture. I feel a bit left out and I am gonna whine about it some. I hope you can bear with me. This isn't some great American novel. It is just my life the best way I know how to tell it. I am gonna ramble and rant and rave and stain the pages with tears. Please forgive me that.

So back to today! Did I mention it is HOT. The pool is being filled now it is finally clean. but I will be grounded and not allowed in it anyway even though I had to get in and scrub all the winter growth and stuff from the pool being empty. Why we didn't wait until summer to replace the old ripped liner I will never know.

School is out and the neighbor's have their pool running and are having a get together as well. Seems summer is one long BBQ on our block. Next door we have Mrs. Hallow. She is older and not so fond of kids i don't think but her son, his wife and their kids live there with her so they are always having parties and BBQs as well. She isn't outside often.  The kids next door are nice to me. Jenny is younger than me by a couple years and her mom has me walk her to school just to get me away from my mom a bit earlier in the morning I think. Oh and she sneaks me Teddy Grahams since my mom says I am hyper and I can't have sugar. I like Jenny's mom oh and she let's me call her by her first name, Deborah. That is pretty cool for an adult in this neighborhood.

Then there is her son who is older than me by a few years. He is a pain. Always teasing me. I guess I don't mind because in a small way he kinda replaces Kenny. Kenny and I used to fight like that like real brother and sister. he calls me Cinderella because I am always outside sweeping the front and alleyway. My mom can't stand to have any dirt on it, even in the cracks.

That isn't the most interesting thing next door. They always have a parade of guests. Deborah has 2 sisters and they have kids. Well 2 sisters who are over all the time anyway I don't know her family tree obviously. The one sister, Miss Laura, has 2 kids that I like the best. They are both younger than I am, the girl more noticeably so but not by much. One of those things people won't even realize when we are adults but seems such a huge gap now. I like her hair. Mine is so straight and such a pain... but I could write an entire story on that! Jessica and her brother, John. Ugh he is so cute. Not baby face cute or super duper abs cute just one of those smiles that makes you melt. A bit skinny and VERY much out of my league.

You see I am a teacher's pet. I get in minor trouble I mentioned. Talking back, caught shoplifting twice even... But mostly the only trouble people have with me is I am too smart and kiss ass for my own good. My handwriting is terrible simply because my brain cannot slow down enough to form the letters. Some teachers try to teach me a lesson about sucking up and thinking I am clever by finishing my tests first. they fail me in handwriting to keep me from honors. I am smart enough to know this won't mean crap on grade school transcripts. Heck they say doctors and lawyers have the WORST handwriting and pretty sure they make a ton of money.

So enough background eh? Let's get back to today. Today is the day I start to like boys. This will be huge for me, dear reader. I have already had crushes (like the one older kid, David,  I won't mention who always smiles sooo big for me I think he likes me and blush and turn away). But deep down I know these crushes aren't in my league. I had a "boyfriend" in first through third grade but I was way out of his league. He was sweet. He put gum in my hair to flirt with me though and got me in trouble.

Today I noticed John. He wasn't in uniform for school like I normally see him. In fact he was shivering from getting out of the pool and soaking wet and not looking anywhere near what you would normally call his best look. His lips were pursed like he was thinking and he looked over at me and caught me looking. he looked at me for a long moment like considering how to react and then gave me a very sly smile. Oh dear reader I will NEVER forget that smile! I think I am in love!

I am sitting here very carefully trying to watch him since I have to sit out here anyway but can't talk to him sadly. He came over and tried a little earlier before he changed and got in the pool. Thing is anytime my mom sees me talking to someone it becomes a fight. Either I am not out here t have fun she is just "allowing me" some fresh air to be nice even though I am grounded OR the total opposite and it becomes a long term ting to constantly use against me. Caught me talking to Robbie (Jenny's older brother, Deborah next door's son) and it hasn't stopped in over a year the teasing. He isn't looking over much now since I pushed him off but oh my gosh when he does... it is like he is looking right into my eyes and telling me he knows everything about me. He couldn't possibly but it is a nice, warm feeling.

I have a secret rafter kind of behind the wall in the basement where my dad out up false walls where I keep the journal that I am writing all of this dear reader. You will notice I go for months sometimes not writing at all then I write every day for awhile. This was big, this had to be written. Because dear reader today I realized I have met my future husband.

End part 1