Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Molly's Life Part 6 ~ A turning point decision
The school counselor has REALLY been pestering me about filing a report against my mom. Every single day I get called to the third floor. I know they wanna take me away and that could be pretty awesome and I could have more time for school instead of all these damn punishments but not if my mom KILLS me first. And I mean, don't all kids get disciplined? Isn't old school discipline better???
If they take me away from home I don't get to see John anymore. He smiled and raised his eyebrows at me the other day! I think he likes me and just can't get near me to say it. Okay okay maybe not. Maybe he just wanted me to come swim or something.
Mom will kill me if she finds out about this. I really love school what is going to happen if they find out the truth? Will I be put in public school? Can they REALLY protect me? I mean just a few weeks ago they were talking about a kid who was hurt really badly and DHS had a report on them and didn't act on it. Decided the child was in no danger. If THAT kids mom wasn't bad enough how are they gonna say mine is?
Aah well. I hope they don't interrupt any tests or anything...
(2 days later)
I am so so so glad I grabbed my hidden diaries this morning. Mom was cleaning and I didn't want her to find them. now I am sitting on the stairs in a shelter. Boys on one set of stairs, girls on the other. I have no clothes except my school uniform. They said they will find me some sweats to sleep in and I can wash my uniform for tomorrow. It is going to be SUCH a long bus ride to school.
Well wait, dear reader, let me catch you up. Today in school I finally cracked. I told them everything and they called DHS and that person said they had to tell my mom that a complaint had been filed. I could NOT be alone with her after they came to do that!!! I begged and pleaded and they gave me the address of a shelter. Said they cannot take me out of the home but I can "run away". Dana and her mom brought me here. It is a 30 day shelter. So at least they have to do something within 30 days. I hope. It isn't super dirty or anything and seems a lot of the kids are "in transition". Just waiting for spots in group homes. No one seems to be a true runaway. All those kids who seem homeless... where do they go if all the kids that DHS can't place are taking up the beds here?? Are there enough shelters for all of them? It doesn't seem fair when DHS has all these group homes and stuff and they are taking up beds meant for homeless kids and runaways. I mean I know they chose to run away but everyone deserves a bed. I can't imagine sleeping on the street. I would be so embarrassed.
So I have to go to school tomorrow and pretend nothing has changed. Pretend I don't feel dirty. Pretend everything is okay. I really really hope that caseworker knows what she is doing...
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Fly a little longer
The kids always have some "new thing" that they must have because everyone does. I am a single mom so I do my best to avoid the more expensive and money sink type ones if I can. I am doing okay though so I do give in from time to time. I find it especially easy to give in when it is a long term thing that my son would need a cheaper version of anyway. You know what I mean. A great example is a backpack that will last all year or a pair of shoes that will hopefully make it through the semester. Plus I find he takes better care of things he wants than the stuff I pick for him.
It was shoes that had me at the department store that day. I am a sale shopper and a couponer so I did a tiny cringe at the price and grabbed his pair hoping they would maybe make it through the year and not just the semester. At least they weren't too crazy looking and didn't seem to have any "features" that would mess with his posture or anything.
I happened to stop at another display outside the shoe area when I overheard the conversation that would change my life forever. I had seen a little boy from my son's school in the department with his mom and recognized his voice right away. He was a pleasant and polite kid. I overheard him speaking with his mom.
The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Now please listen sweety I cannot afford another pair of these for a long long time. I really had to save up all year to get you something nice for this birthday.
(I already had a little lump in my throat. I was doing a little better now but the pain of that situation was still much much too fresh.)
Boy: I know mom. These are amazing but I always take good care of my shoes.
Mom: Oh sweetie I don't mean just cleaning them and that conditioner stuff you use, If you run as much in these as you always do you will wear them out quickly.
(The mom must have been tearing up at this point, and I felt her pain. Who wants to tell their young boy not to run so much because they can't afford more shoes???)
Boy: Oh mom please don't cry! I love them so much! I don't have to fly forever, but now I get to fly for a little while!
Mom: (laughs and sounds puzzled) Fly sweetie?
Boy: Yeah mom I run because it feels like flying.
The simplest conversation in the world. A little boy who daydreams that when he runs he is flying. The simple pleasure a child takes in life from something free and easy. Maybe in text it doesn't sound so profound. But I was broken up something fierce. I put down the handbag I was considering. I left the store with an uplifted heart and a plan.
I watched that boy in the schoolyard carefully wiping his shoes after recess. Always coming in the next day with them really cleaned, laces off the ground. I consider my own son to be conscientious and respectful of property but I had to replace his well before this little boys shoes started to show wear.
Then finally I started to see the wear. I know little boys grow fast and wasn't sure what size he would now be even though I had snuck a peek at his shoe size when the school had a moon bounce. Teaching at the school had its advantages. He gave me the perfect opportunity to see his shoe size. I saw him sit on a bench and carefully untie his shoe to take it off. He started shaking it like a rock had gotten in it. I quickly crossed to the bench where he was.
"Hey Garret! You alright?" I said
"Yes Ma'am" He said with a huge smile. "I just had something in my shoe"
"Whoops! Did you get it out? Don't want anything hurting those super fast feet! Gonna be an Olympic track runner one day!" (I reached down to touch his feet casually) "Just remember don't forget your old teacher"
I didn't think his face could get any brighter but it did and he ran off yelling "I won't!" with a spring in his step.
I knew where he lived so the rest was simple.
The next morning when he woke up he found a pair of shoes carefully wrapped and tied with brown paper and twine that I knew he would carefully unwrap. He was certainly that kind of boy. The card simply said, "Fly a little longer"
I was so excited to see him in school that Monday wearing his new shoes. I was puzzled to bits when he was still wearing the old ones. Of course I couldn't ask about them! I remained puzzled for a whole month until he finally wore the new pair.
I had to comment.
"Whoa! Someone got new shoes!" I said to him while he was lacing them snugly on the playgroung getting ready to run the track around the school.
"Yes ma'am! I had them for awhile they were a gift from heaven"
(I couldn't help but grin so huge)
"Wow that is so awesome!" I said. "When did you get them? Yesterday?"
"No ma'am I got them about a month ago, but my old ones were still okay to use. The card told me to fly a little longer and now I got to fly an extra month."
"Fly?" I said. Even though I knew what he meant. Well I thought I knew.
He started like I expected.
"When I run it is like flying. Free and fast."
But then he smiled the most peaceful angelic smile I have ever seen and there was a wisdom in his eyes of a man who has lived an entire lifetime. He continued-
"When I run I feel close to God, and if I am close to God I am close to heaven. Heaven is where my daddy is so I am close to him. Because heaven is a place we feel, not a place we go, I think."
I choked back the tears with a huge smile and tell him
"I think you are absolutely right"
He bounds off ready to run... ready to fly with his dad.
No words can describe the change he made in me. But now I live my life flying.
It was shoes that had me at the department store that day. I am a sale shopper and a couponer so I did a tiny cringe at the price and grabbed his pair hoping they would maybe make it through the year and not just the semester. At least they weren't too crazy looking and didn't seem to have any "features" that would mess with his posture or anything.
I happened to stop at another display outside the shoe area when I overheard the conversation that would change my life forever. I had seen a little boy from my son's school in the department with his mom and recognized his voice right away. He was a pleasant and polite kid. I overheard him speaking with his mom.
The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Now please listen sweety I cannot afford another pair of these for a long long time. I really had to save up all year to get you something nice for this birthday.
(I already had a little lump in my throat. I was doing a little better now but the pain of that situation was still much much too fresh.)
Boy: I know mom. These are amazing but I always take good care of my shoes.
Mom: Oh sweetie I don't mean just cleaning them and that conditioner stuff you use, If you run as much in these as you always do you will wear them out quickly.
(The mom must have been tearing up at this point, and I felt her pain. Who wants to tell their young boy not to run so much because they can't afford more shoes???)
Boy: Oh mom please don't cry! I love them so much! I don't have to fly forever, but now I get to fly for a little while!
Mom: (laughs and sounds puzzled) Fly sweetie?
Boy: Yeah mom I run because it feels like flying.
The simplest conversation in the world. A little boy who daydreams that when he runs he is flying. The simple pleasure a child takes in life from something free and easy. Maybe in text it doesn't sound so profound. But I was broken up something fierce. I put down the handbag I was considering. I left the store with an uplifted heart and a plan.
I watched that boy in the schoolyard carefully wiping his shoes after recess. Always coming in the next day with them really cleaned, laces off the ground. I consider my own son to be conscientious and respectful of property but I had to replace his well before this little boys shoes started to show wear.
Then finally I started to see the wear. I know little boys grow fast and wasn't sure what size he would now be even though I had snuck a peek at his shoe size when the school had a moon bounce. Teaching at the school had its advantages. He gave me the perfect opportunity to see his shoe size. I saw him sit on a bench and carefully untie his shoe to take it off. He started shaking it like a rock had gotten in it. I quickly crossed to the bench where he was.
"Hey Garret! You alright?" I said
"Yes Ma'am" He said with a huge smile. "I just had something in my shoe"
"Whoops! Did you get it out? Don't want anything hurting those super fast feet! Gonna be an Olympic track runner one day!" (I reached down to touch his feet casually) "Just remember don't forget your old teacher"
I didn't think his face could get any brighter but it did and he ran off yelling "I won't!" with a spring in his step.
I knew where he lived so the rest was simple.
The next morning when he woke up he found a pair of shoes carefully wrapped and tied with brown paper and twine that I knew he would carefully unwrap. He was certainly that kind of boy. The card simply said, "Fly a little longer"
I was so excited to see him in school that Monday wearing his new shoes. I was puzzled to bits when he was still wearing the old ones. Of course I couldn't ask about them! I remained puzzled for a whole month until he finally wore the new pair.
I had to comment.
"Whoa! Someone got new shoes!" I said to him while he was lacing them snugly on the playgroung getting ready to run the track around the school.
"Yes ma'am! I had them for awhile they were a gift from heaven"
(I couldn't help but grin so huge)
"Wow that is so awesome!" I said. "When did you get them? Yesterday?"
"No ma'am I got them about a month ago, but my old ones were still okay to use. The card told me to fly a little longer and now I got to fly an extra month."
"Fly?" I said. Even though I knew what he meant. Well I thought I knew.
He started like I expected.
"When I run it is like flying. Free and fast."
But then he smiled the most peaceful angelic smile I have ever seen and there was a wisdom in his eyes of a man who has lived an entire lifetime. He continued-
"When I run I feel close to God, and if I am close to God I am close to heaven. Heaven is where my daddy is so I am close to him. Because heaven is a place we feel, not a place we go, I think."
I choked back the tears with a huge smile and tell him
"I think you are absolutely right"
He bounds off ready to run... ready to fly with his dad.
No words can describe the change he made in me. But now I live my life flying.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Molly's Life Part 5- Making a friend?
Today in Latin we got assigned some really cool projects and all got partners. My partner is Dana and she is coming over this weekend so we can work on our display board. We have to make a newspaper written in Latin displaying things that may have been news when Latin was a spoken language. I think we are going to go with a lot of "general", "interest" style news with one or two local events thrown in to the mix and maybe one "top story". (Can you tell I am LOVING Journalism classes, dear reader?)
Dana is really nice and I can't wait! I don't think I have ever ad a friend or classmate over for more than a few minutes stopping by with something and certainly never for a project! I got in trouble for telling my brothers they have to behave and be nice and not embarrass me. Mom says it is their house not my friends and I am no one to tell them how to act.
I BEGGED her not to call me Molly Ro while Dana is here. Why would she call me that? Well the neighbor boy, Robbie, they call him Rob Ro for some reason. I think his last name is different from his moms and starts with Ro? I don't know. Anyway she says he is the best guy I will ever get to talk to me. He is cool but he doesn't really even talk to me! He calls me Cinderella when he sees me cleaning outside or rolls his eyes asking how much more I have to do and is nice but I mean that is just well basic hey how ya doing neighbor stuff. So I am either called MolRo or MollyRo or some bad name that I won't shock your decent sensibilities with, dear reader. I can't remember the last time she simply called me Molly.
I am worried as heck she will embarrass me but she doesn't like to embarrass herself so she may not. Plus even if she calls me that I don't have to explain what it means I can just pretend it isn't a big deal. Dana may not even notice.
(That Sunday Afternoon)
Today was a DISASTER. Dana and I went to play in the yard while the glue was drying on the first part of our display. She can do awesome flips and handstands and was trying to show me how. Sammy came out and PUSHED me while I was trying to flip and I fell and hurt my wrist. It isn't broken or anything but it REALLY hurt and was embarrassing! I was bad enough at it but could laugh it off til that. Dana looked MORTIFIED for me and gave him a disgusted look but I went off on him yelling and pushed him JUST as mom looked out the window. She came outside and grabbed me by the hair and pulled me around the yard by my hair yelling at me right in front of Dana!!!! Dana wound up calling her mom to go home and I cried and cried when she left! Brand new school and I will NEVER live this down with the one real friend I started to make! I know so many exclamation points is really bad but all of these sentences need them!!! I can't think straight right now to write correctly I am SO upset! Since Mr. R says if you don't take the time to do it right don't do it I am going to stop for now.
(The next evening)
Oh boy I have done it now. I am REALLY in trouble! I don't know how Dana could do this to me. I will NEVER talk to her again. mom is gonna KILL me if she finds out. Dear reader if you are seeing this after my body has been found and it looks like an accident and they find me in the river, PLEASE know that it was not an accident! Mom has threatened me before with putting me in the river and banging my head or chopping me in little pieces and trashing one piece of me each week on different blocks on trash day so it never comes from her garbage or even our block. So if they find me anyway like that it was NOT an accident!
Anyway I got called to the third floor counselor's office today. the office is really cool and they told me it was routine on the slip they sent to get me. With my scholarship I get called to a lot of meetings just checking up on me to see how I am so I thought nothing of it. Dana was already up there though! She had told the counselor everything!!! I just know I looked terrified! But I denied it all said she was really exaggerating and even lying. My mom says I have tells when I lie. I don't know about that I just know it feels really crappy and I don't like doing it. But I HAD to lie! If my mom EVER finds out I talked to someone outside the house about her she will FREAK. If she even finds out I was up there for that she will be mad. The counselor told me over and over they wouldn't be telling my mom what I said but I just said there is nothing to tell her I said I didn't say anything!
I can't believe Dana did that! I am so glad our project is done I wish I could move my seat in class! Father Jim said at the start he re- seats us at the semester switch and I can't wait! I am going to go say a rosary that my mom never finds out I was at the counselors!
Dana is really nice and I can't wait! I don't think I have ever ad a friend or classmate over for more than a few minutes stopping by with something and certainly never for a project! I got in trouble for telling my brothers they have to behave and be nice and not embarrass me. Mom says it is their house not my friends and I am no one to tell them how to act.
I BEGGED her not to call me Molly Ro while Dana is here. Why would she call me that? Well the neighbor boy, Robbie, they call him Rob Ro for some reason. I think his last name is different from his moms and starts with Ro? I don't know. Anyway she says he is the best guy I will ever get to talk to me. He is cool but he doesn't really even talk to me! He calls me Cinderella when he sees me cleaning outside or rolls his eyes asking how much more I have to do and is nice but I mean that is just well basic hey how ya doing neighbor stuff. So I am either called MolRo or MollyRo or some bad name that I won't shock your decent sensibilities with, dear reader. I can't remember the last time she simply called me Molly.
I am worried as heck she will embarrass me but she doesn't like to embarrass herself so she may not. Plus even if she calls me that I don't have to explain what it means I can just pretend it isn't a big deal. Dana may not even notice.
(That Sunday Afternoon)
Today was a DISASTER. Dana and I went to play in the yard while the glue was drying on the first part of our display. She can do awesome flips and handstands and was trying to show me how. Sammy came out and PUSHED me while I was trying to flip and I fell and hurt my wrist. It isn't broken or anything but it REALLY hurt and was embarrassing! I was bad enough at it but could laugh it off til that. Dana looked MORTIFIED for me and gave him a disgusted look but I went off on him yelling and pushed him JUST as mom looked out the window. She came outside and grabbed me by the hair and pulled me around the yard by my hair yelling at me right in front of Dana!!!! Dana wound up calling her mom to go home and I cried and cried when she left! Brand new school and I will NEVER live this down with the one real friend I started to make! I know so many exclamation points is really bad but all of these sentences need them!!! I can't think straight right now to write correctly I am SO upset! Since Mr. R says if you don't take the time to do it right don't do it I am going to stop for now.
(The next evening)
Oh boy I have done it now. I am REALLY in trouble! I don't know how Dana could do this to me. I will NEVER talk to her again. mom is gonna KILL me if she finds out. Dear reader if you are seeing this after my body has been found and it looks like an accident and they find me in the river, PLEASE know that it was not an accident! Mom has threatened me before with putting me in the river and banging my head or chopping me in little pieces and trashing one piece of me each week on different blocks on trash day so it never comes from her garbage or even our block. So if they find me anyway like that it was NOT an accident!
Anyway I got called to the third floor counselor's office today. the office is really cool and they told me it was routine on the slip they sent to get me. With my scholarship I get called to a lot of meetings just checking up on me to see how I am so I thought nothing of it. Dana was already up there though! She had told the counselor everything!!! I just know I looked terrified! But I denied it all said she was really exaggerating and even lying. My mom says I have tells when I lie. I don't know about that I just know it feels really crappy and I don't like doing it. But I HAD to lie! If my mom EVER finds out I talked to someone outside the house about her she will FREAK. If she even finds out I was up there for that she will be mad. The counselor told me over and over they wouldn't be telling my mom what I said but I just said there is nothing to tell her I said I didn't say anything!
I can't believe Dana did that! I am so glad our project is done I wish I could move my seat in class! Father Jim said at the start he re- seats us at the semester switch and I can't wait! I am going to go say a rosary that my mom never finds out I was at the counselors!
Molly's Life Part 4- Starting a new school!
Mom dropped me off at the bus stop this morning on time but the bus never came! Me and a girl named Charity (same name as my lil sis!) stood there waiting forever! I finally used the payphone to call mom and she can only drive back roads so took us forever to get there! We were late and missed assembly so I got like everything wrong on the quiz we had to take in homeroom about the school!! I am a perfect score kinda girl! Not a perfect 0!
Most of my teacher's seem nice. My biology teacher is my homeroom teacher. All the tests they had me take this summer apparently had me testing out of some classes so I am in with some sophomores and already have some completed "credits" Not that it means much unless I wanna be a slacker my senior year and take less classes and still graduate. Knowing me I will take as many as I can though but nice to know I am ahead of the game. So I have biology with mostly upperclassmen and Latin 1 only runs every 2 years so all grades are in that as well because the priest only teaches a few classes so he rotates Latin 1 and 2 each year. I know a few girls from being in my grade school. this is NOTHING like grade school! I am no longer easily the top girl in the class. One the school is all girls so to be top girl I have to be top! Two the classes seem to be divided by skill so the best of the best are all in my classes! I feel a LOT less smart than I did this morning!!! I am REALLY going to have to work my tail off and even then I don't know if I can keep up!
We get to choose "activity period clubs" and get 2 activity periods a month. they call it a T schedule. T1 and T2 days. Every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month we will have a special schedule where all the periods are shortened and an extra is added in after homeroom for activity clubs. My English teacher is soooo awesome and asked me PERSONALLY after my first day if I would like to be in the newspaper for my T2 activity! Newspaper normally takes up both T1 and T2 but newspaper is REALLY picky! Freshman have to train for an entire year at T2 and after school before they are even allowed to touch the school newspaper. Seems we win LOTS of newspaper awards each year!!! So I had to find an activity for T1. Sister Francis, the activities director, has a "floral arts and crafts" class that I decided would be fun! In 6th grade I used to work at the flower shop mostly doing stock work for a few bucks but they let me make some artificial wreaths and even mess with some more basic live ones at the end of the year and I loved it!
All my teachers seem at least nice. Hard to tell on the first day of school I think how each class will go.
I hope the bus comes tomorrow. Now I am going to get a head start on the outlines that some of the teachers gave us for the year. I need all the help I can get if I wanna shine.
Most of my teacher's seem nice. My biology teacher is my homeroom teacher. All the tests they had me take this summer apparently had me testing out of some classes so I am in with some sophomores and already have some completed "credits" Not that it means much unless I wanna be a slacker my senior year and take less classes and still graduate. Knowing me I will take as many as I can though but nice to know I am ahead of the game. So I have biology with mostly upperclassmen and Latin 1 only runs every 2 years so all grades are in that as well because the priest only teaches a few classes so he rotates Latin 1 and 2 each year. I know a few girls from being in my grade school. this is NOTHING like grade school! I am no longer easily the top girl in the class. One the school is all girls so to be top girl I have to be top! Two the classes seem to be divided by skill so the best of the best are all in my classes! I feel a LOT less smart than I did this morning!!! I am REALLY going to have to work my tail off and even then I don't know if I can keep up!
We get to choose "activity period clubs" and get 2 activity periods a month. they call it a T schedule. T1 and T2 days. Every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month we will have a special schedule where all the periods are shortened and an extra is added in after homeroom for activity clubs. My English teacher is soooo awesome and asked me PERSONALLY after my first day if I would like to be in the newspaper for my T2 activity! Newspaper normally takes up both T1 and T2 but newspaper is REALLY picky! Freshman have to train for an entire year at T2 and after school before they are even allowed to touch the school newspaper. Seems we win LOTS of newspaper awards each year!!! So I had to find an activity for T1. Sister Francis, the activities director, has a "floral arts and crafts" class that I decided would be fun! In 6th grade I used to work at the flower shop mostly doing stock work for a few bucks but they let me make some artificial wreaths and even mess with some more basic live ones at the end of the year and I loved it!
All my teachers seem at least nice. Hard to tell on the first day of school I think how each class will go.
I hope the bus comes tomorrow. Now I am going to get a head start on the outlines that some of the teachers gave us for the year. I need all the help I can get if I wanna shine.
Molly's Life Part 3 (part 2!)- Summer Daze part 2
(We find Molly less than a week after her next entry already writing again!)
Oh Dear reader Mr. Macon was right! It IS hard work at his store. But I CANNOT say enough how much I loved it! SQUEAL!!!! yes I literally just squealed into my pillow! I acted super tired and shrugged off questions of how it was when i came home. I wasn't lying I AM tired but oh my gosh what a rush!!! A JOB, time away for the summer AND my own money!!!! $6 an hour!!! Minimum wage is only $5.15!!!!
Mom doesn't think I will be able to keep it :( She says I have a knack for getting into trouble. But I know I can! I am going to do everything 1000 percent!!!!
I didn't wash many dishes today. I did some but mostly I was taught how to make their secret cocktail sauce recipe and coleslaw!!! The food is sooo good and they let me taste at each stage so I could see what each thing does to the recipe! i am going to learn so much!!! Mom doesn't cook ANYTHING homemade except her chicken soup and hers is nowhere near as good as Gram's so I am REALLY excited that I get to learn a little about cooking some of my favorite foods! The head cook there is named Lenny. He is super nice! He says the only thing he won't teach me to make is his hot sauce but he will make me some for Christmas' and birthdays if I stick around :) His hot sauce is soooo good I can't even describe it! Makes my mouth water! it is good on everything and almost a whole meal of tastes on its own! Almost seems a shame to ruin it with what you are putting it on except he is a really good cook too. The line cook Jesse makes really good scallops too but I don't think he is a real cook. I know Leonard went to culinary school and all but can't work at a big place because he has messed up knees and needs somewhere small where he can put a stool on the line and still reach most stuff for prep work and stuff to cut down the time he has to put strain on his knees. Wow you can learn so much about people in one day!
Let's see Mr. Macon is divorced. His ex wife seems pretty unreasonable based on what he says but she is the mom of his kids so he seems careful to watch his wording. looks like his kids stop by a lot. His new girlfriend works at the shop and showed me how to bread shrimp with one wet hand and one dry hand so the meal doesn't get clumpy. She is really nice. Her name is Muriel.
Tomorrow morning I get to go fold flyers at the state reps office. The lady there who runs the office, Ms Peggy is sooo nice! She invited me to a party meeting for gaining poll volunteers and I haven't even started yet! I am too young to work pulls in much of an official capacity but I can hand out flyers and cookies and stuff!
Right now I am going to head out. I just heard David say they are going outside to see if the neighbors wanna play ball which means John and Jess may be over and Mom said I can go into the actual yard today since I went to work! Not that John will talk to me but I can read a book and watch him just being cute! I know it is corny and silly, dear reader! I am about to be 14 though and being a dork that is all I get to do :) If you saw him you would know!!! Talk soon I promise!
Oh Dear reader Mr. Macon was right! It IS hard work at his store. But I CANNOT say enough how much I loved it! SQUEAL!!!! yes I literally just squealed into my pillow! I acted super tired and shrugged off questions of how it was when i came home. I wasn't lying I AM tired but oh my gosh what a rush!!! A JOB, time away for the summer AND my own money!!!! $6 an hour!!! Minimum wage is only $5.15!!!!
Mom doesn't think I will be able to keep it :( She says I have a knack for getting into trouble. But I know I can! I am going to do everything 1000 percent!!!!
I didn't wash many dishes today. I did some but mostly I was taught how to make their secret cocktail sauce recipe and coleslaw!!! The food is sooo good and they let me taste at each stage so I could see what each thing does to the recipe! i am going to learn so much!!! Mom doesn't cook ANYTHING homemade except her chicken soup and hers is nowhere near as good as Gram's so I am REALLY excited that I get to learn a little about cooking some of my favorite foods! The head cook there is named Lenny. He is super nice! He says the only thing he won't teach me to make is his hot sauce but he will make me some for Christmas' and birthdays if I stick around :) His hot sauce is soooo good I can't even describe it! Makes my mouth water! it is good on everything and almost a whole meal of tastes on its own! Almost seems a shame to ruin it with what you are putting it on except he is a really good cook too. The line cook Jesse makes really good scallops too but I don't think he is a real cook. I know Leonard went to culinary school and all but can't work at a big place because he has messed up knees and needs somewhere small where he can put a stool on the line and still reach most stuff for prep work and stuff to cut down the time he has to put strain on his knees. Wow you can learn so much about people in one day!
Let's see Mr. Macon is divorced. His ex wife seems pretty unreasonable based on what he says but she is the mom of his kids so he seems careful to watch his wording. looks like his kids stop by a lot. His new girlfriend works at the shop and showed me how to bread shrimp with one wet hand and one dry hand so the meal doesn't get clumpy. She is really nice. Her name is Muriel.
Tomorrow morning I get to go fold flyers at the state reps office. The lady there who runs the office, Ms Peggy is sooo nice! She invited me to a party meeting for gaining poll volunteers and I haven't even started yet! I am too young to work pulls in much of an official capacity but I can hand out flyers and cookies and stuff!
Right now I am going to head out. I just heard David say they are going outside to see if the neighbors wanna play ball which means John and Jess may be over and Mom said I can go into the actual yard today since I went to work! Not that John will talk to me but I can read a book and watch him just being cute! I know it is corny and silly, dear reader! I am about to be 14 though and being a dork that is all I get to do :) If you saw him you would know!!! Talk soon I promise!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Molly's Life Part 3- Summer Daze part 1
Ugh I am sooo mad. Of course I had to go and get myself grounded to start the summer. Now the only time I get away from this place is going to be for work IF I get a job since mom says I can't go work with dad while I am grounded. He was going to hire me to reorganize the office at work. His boss is such a slob I don't know how he makes so much money. He has a gorgeous house and a successful business but the office is a mess of paperwork and dog toys from the shop dogs. oh and it SMELLS like dog.
I knew I would be in trouble. I just didn't care! Sister Jane asked me to read one of the readings at the graduation Mass. Well, ceremony. Mom forbid me from reading at church awhile back. I was always getting picked as I am one of the clearest readers I think, or maybe I am the most kiss ass and only one who wants to /shrug. oh well I enjoy it! But mom says I am not holy enough to stand on the altar and read so I don't get to anymore.
But it is GRADUATION! I am not in the yearbook for everything mom always grounds me from everything before pics and rosters are made and I am lucky if I get back into it. I am not even in the choir pictures!! The director probably thinks I am a flake and can't commit when really I love choir most of all so that is the first thing I get taken away.
So I risked it KNOWING there would be trouble. Oh and Ginny had chicken pox so I wound up doing her reading as well which made mom double mad. they let her march in for her diploma then back to the sacristy so she had minimal contact with everyone. Mom didn't know ahead of time so I got to be on the programs and to read but boy was she pissed once she got me alone.
So now I am grounded ALL summer or until "further notice". Of course the more I ask if I can go out the more I get "extended' so maybe this time I will be smart and show impulse control. The seafood place around the corner my dad has been working on building is finally open and has a help wanted sign in the window for a dishwasher. Next time mom sends me to the pharmacy I am going to stop in and ask to apply. I cannot stay in this house all summer I will go nuts! Especially with all her kids in the pool! I just know I will have to sit and play lifeguard again and not be allowed in! Last summer was the same when we got it :( I only was allowed in like 5 times all summer and only at night when I was up later than them. I have to admit the pool to myself at night was kinda nice though. Sometimes Deborah or her husband or one of her kids would come clean or get in their pool to talk to me across the fence so I had company. Otherwise I would enjoy the quiet or practice my handstands or just float and daydream looking for starts and planes and listening to the crickets and cars going by the house.
So anyway! I know I can wash dishes! Anyone can do that so I should be able to get the job! Plus the owner has seen me with dad and loves dad so I am sure that won't hurt! I don't wanna use dad to get a job even though he says I can as long as I am responsible and don't give him a bad name. The owner seems super nice and he gives me shrimp when we go in for free doesn't even have daddy pay for it. I LOVE seafood but none of my brothers and sisters do so we never get it. Plus it is expensive so I doubt we would anyway. Bah here comes mom...
(The Next Day)
UGH!!! Not a girl's job???? Really? What are we in pre suffrage America??? Do I have to go all Susan B Anthony on this guy really? How is dishwashing NOT a woman's job even pre equal rights? I mean isn't that what we are good at doing supposedly? Washing dishes and cooking and cleaning and organizing? Apparently the job includes carrying things up and down to and from the basement walk in and Mr. Macon, the owner doesn't think girls should be doing that. I NEED a job and that is the only place I am going to get anywhere near that will hire under the table. At least while I am grounded! I cannot spend all summer cooped up.
(The Next Week)
I saw Mr. Macon outside today and chopped to chat and be super sweet. I am really friendly to start but I made a special effort and didn't even bring up the job! I guess that means I am learning to hold my tongue a bit. Maybe I can get grounded less if I ever get through this summer!.
My oldest brother (who is like 4 years younger than me!), David, had to go to the ER today. Of course my grounding is extended /sigh. he threw a battery at me and I ducked but I threw one back and hurt his nose or something. It isn't broken but they have him bandaged. Mom was pissed but dad was in the room while she was yelling so I blurted out what he did and he calmed her down saying she had to yell at him too then. I feel bad because then mom started yelling about how his face was his punishment so i needed to be punished and they started fighting so I got downstairs and I know I will get off easy because it is never as bad when Mom has to go against dad and hide the punishment. She already said I am "extended" 2 weeks on being grounded but since I had no end date to start not much I can complain about.
(2 weeks later)
Omg omg omg! Dear reader I have not written in almost 2 weeks! Every time I walk past Macon's seafood I wave or if he is outside talk to him and ask him if he found someone. The other day I gave up hope because he took down the sign and had some kid working in there. Today when my mom took my brothers and siter to camp I was playing with his daughters and my siblings waiting for them to call camp to order. After they took role and while my mom was over talking to the counselor he walked up to me and told me to come around Thursday night and he would find something for me to do and see how it goes!!! I. Have. A JOB!!!!!! ok well maybe. I have a chance at a job at least!!! Plus the lady at the state reps office said I can come next week and help them fold some papers for envelopes if I want to volunteer!!!!!! My mom loves the rep because his office always helps her with her dumb complaint war she has with the neighbor so of course she said yes if they need help I can go!!! This has GOT to be the best day ever!!!!
I knew I would be in trouble. I just didn't care! Sister Jane asked me to read one of the readings at the graduation Mass. Well, ceremony. Mom forbid me from reading at church awhile back. I was always getting picked as I am one of the clearest readers I think, or maybe I am the most kiss ass and only one who wants to /shrug. oh well I enjoy it! But mom says I am not holy enough to stand on the altar and read so I don't get to anymore.
But it is GRADUATION! I am not in the yearbook for everything mom always grounds me from everything before pics and rosters are made and I am lucky if I get back into it. I am not even in the choir pictures!! The director probably thinks I am a flake and can't commit when really I love choir most of all so that is the first thing I get taken away.
So I risked it KNOWING there would be trouble. Oh and Ginny had chicken pox so I wound up doing her reading as well which made mom double mad. they let her march in for her diploma then back to the sacristy so she had minimal contact with everyone. Mom didn't know ahead of time so I got to be on the programs and to read but boy was she pissed once she got me alone.
So now I am grounded ALL summer or until "further notice". Of course the more I ask if I can go out the more I get "extended' so maybe this time I will be smart and show impulse control. The seafood place around the corner my dad has been working on building is finally open and has a help wanted sign in the window for a dishwasher. Next time mom sends me to the pharmacy I am going to stop in and ask to apply. I cannot stay in this house all summer I will go nuts! Especially with all her kids in the pool! I just know I will have to sit and play lifeguard again and not be allowed in! Last summer was the same when we got it :( I only was allowed in like 5 times all summer and only at night when I was up later than them. I have to admit the pool to myself at night was kinda nice though. Sometimes Deborah or her husband or one of her kids would come clean or get in their pool to talk to me across the fence so I had company. Otherwise I would enjoy the quiet or practice my handstands or just float and daydream looking for starts and planes and listening to the crickets and cars going by the house.
So anyway! I know I can wash dishes! Anyone can do that so I should be able to get the job! Plus the owner has seen me with dad and loves dad so I am sure that won't hurt! I don't wanna use dad to get a job even though he says I can as long as I am responsible and don't give him a bad name. The owner seems super nice and he gives me shrimp when we go in for free doesn't even have daddy pay for it. I LOVE seafood but none of my brothers and sisters do so we never get it. Plus it is expensive so I doubt we would anyway. Bah here comes mom...
(The Next Day)
UGH!!! Not a girl's job???? Really? What are we in pre suffrage America??? Do I have to go all Susan B Anthony on this guy really? How is dishwashing NOT a woman's job even pre equal rights? I mean isn't that what we are good at doing supposedly? Washing dishes and cooking and cleaning and organizing? Apparently the job includes carrying things up and down to and from the basement walk in and Mr. Macon, the owner doesn't think girls should be doing that. I NEED a job and that is the only place I am going to get anywhere near that will hire under the table. At least while I am grounded! I cannot spend all summer cooped up.
(The Next Week)
I saw Mr. Macon outside today and chopped to chat and be super sweet. I am really friendly to start but I made a special effort and didn't even bring up the job! I guess that means I am learning to hold my tongue a bit. Maybe I can get grounded less if I ever get through this summer!.
My oldest brother (who is like 4 years younger than me!), David, had to go to the ER today. Of course my grounding is extended /sigh. he threw a battery at me and I ducked but I threw one back and hurt his nose or something. It isn't broken but they have him bandaged. Mom was pissed but dad was in the room while she was yelling so I blurted out what he did and he calmed her down saying she had to yell at him too then. I feel bad because then mom started yelling about how his face was his punishment so i needed to be punished and they started fighting so I got downstairs and I know I will get off easy because it is never as bad when Mom has to go against dad and hide the punishment. She already said I am "extended" 2 weeks on being grounded but since I had no end date to start not much I can complain about.
(2 weeks later)
Omg omg omg! Dear reader I have not written in almost 2 weeks! Every time I walk past Macon's seafood I wave or if he is outside talk to him and ask him if he found someone. The other day I gave up hope because he took down the sign and had some kid working in there. Today when my mom took my brothers and siter to camp I was playing with his daughters and my siblings waiting for them to call camp to order. After they took role and while my mom was over talking to the counselor he walked up to me and told me to come around Thursday night and he would find something for me to do and see how it goes!!! I. Have. A JOB!!!!!! ok well maybe. I have a chance at a job at least!!! Plus the lady at the state reps office said I can come next week and help them fold some papers for envelopes if I want to volunteer!!!!!! My mom loves the rep because his office always helps her with her dumb complaint war she has with the neighbor so of course she said yes if they need help I can go!!! This has GOT to be the best day ever!!!!
Friday, June 7, 2013
Molly's Life Part 2 ~ Yay scholarships!!!
(About a year from first post, Molly is now in 8th grade)
Today was dress up as your favorite book character day. Everyone who pays $1 got to participate. I think that is dumb because there are always a few students left out. Maybe they don't want to participate but these days are basically an excuse not to wear a uniform which I am sure everyone likes, so it is more likely their parents don't want to or cannot pay the $1.
My teacher, Sister Jane, got pulled from class today by Sister Susan our principal. The class talked in hushed tones until both women came back into the room smiling, with Father Steve. He is our Pastor. He usually only comes over for important stuff or to give out our report cards. I think it is awesome how he opens each one up to look at them before handing them to us. But he always shakes his head at me when I don't have an honor card because of my handwriting or behavior.
So they all came in the room and at first I thought it had to do with our "costumes" but they said they had a huge announcement. The diocese has a foundation that offers full and partial scholarships. You can get one for academic excellence or a few other citizen type things and use it for any Catholic High school in the archdiocese. It is a pretty awesome chance because Catholic high school is really expensive. You have to have grades over 90 (out of 100) across the board from 6th grade up til the test in 8th grade to even test to try to get the academic one. Then you have to write a crazy long essay about why you should be chosen.
Five of us qualified to take the test. One bowed out because he was going to private school that was Catholic but not covered. Best boys school in the city. His score would have blown us all away or bumped us down a notch at least so we weren't complaining.
First the announced that a classmate had gotten a partial scholarship for community leadership. Jason is in an actual string band can you believe it? He plays and marches in costume and everything. How cool is that?? he is really nice to everyone even me and doesn't make snide comments at/ about me like most the kids so I really think he deserves it and will be a great example some day to whoever he is around and that is what being a leader is about, right?
Then on to the academic ones. 1600 kids tested of the kids who qualified. Chances are small one of us would get never mind more than one. I gripped my desk sooo hard running over in my head how I need to smile and not cry and congratulate whoever got it if it isn't me. And of course if it is me how I need to be gracious and not be too excited with those who didn't watching.
They announce Steven first. Partial academic! $1000 off each year's tuition! I know his mom will be thrilled she is so nice! Three of us left who took the test...
Paul is next! Full Academic! Our school got THREE of the scholarships available!!! Only 26 academic ones going out this year and we got 2 of em!!
But they weren't done!!! Molly got a full academic! That is me!!! I was in shock! My grace went out the window I was grinning ear to ear! I can go to Catholic school! My part time job will cover my uniform and stuff or at least help enough that it is a non issue! Public schools are starting to wear uniforms anyway.
Only one of us did not get something... Lisa. She seemed pretty upset. I think she needed this as much as I did to be able to go to Catholic school. I don't say much to her as I don't know what to say. But I feel really bad for being so excited in front of her.
Before Pastor an Sister Susan leave they tell me I need to come to the principal's office, not al the winners just me. Anytime you are asked to do that, even if you have done nothing wrong, you get a really heavy scared feeling in your stomach. Well I do anyway. I am always worried I am in trouble for something. My know it all attitude is bad for my health.
I walk in the office and their are a ton of roses on Sister Susan's desk. I can't help but gasp and compliment her on her flowers. Hey I like flowers! Then you won't believe it but she tells me they are for ME!!!! One of the schools I applied to and got a partial scholarship at sent them for me :) They have me call and immediately thank them (and my mom made me call from home again).
I LOVE the flowers but now mom and Sister Jane say I HAVE to go to that school. I mean it seemed a good idea before they offered me the biggest scholarship and offered to help me find aid for the rest of tuition but now I can choose ANY school and I kind of want to research them all. I mean I didn't ask them to send me flowers and never said I wasn't looking at other schools. I even had some other, though smaller, scholarship offers. Ugh I don't know! I guess we will see maybe they will let me look around a bit.
(THE NEXT DAY)
Wow Lisa was REALLY pissed at school today. We were talking about our scholarships at recess and she flipped out saying her mom said if James (the kid who qualified but didn't test because he was going to private school), had taken the test NONE of us would have gotten scholarships. I tried to tell her that doesn't make sense as he would have only bumped EVERYONE who got one by one spot so only one less person of all 26 would have gotten one and maybe someone who got full would have been bumped to partial but she was too upset to listen. She is going to the best public school in the city. It is all girls and you have to "get in" not everyone can go. Well second best i guess there is a magnet program at a co ed school that is really hard to get into and the only way I would have been allowed to go co ed was getting into that program. Anyway not a big deal but was worth noting after my almost essay I wrote you yesterday! Haha I hope whoever finds this one day doesn't think I am crazy! I promise I am not!
Today was dress up as your favorite book character day. Everyone who pays $1 got to participate. I think that is dumb because there are always a few students left out. Maybe they don't want to participate but these days are basically an excuse not to wear a uniform which I am sure everyone likes, so it is more likely their parents don't want to or cannot pay the $1.
My teacher, Sister Jane, got pulled from class today by Sister Susan our principal. The class talked in hushed tones until both women came back into the room smiling, with Father Steve. He is our Pastor. He usually only comes over for important stuff or to give out our report cards. I think it is awesome how he opens each one up to look at them before handing them to us. But he always shakes his head at me when I don't have an honor card because of my handwriting or behavior.
So they all came in the room and at first I thought it had to do with our "costumes" but they said they had a huge announcement. The diocese has a foundation that offers full and partial scholarships. You can get one for academic excellence or a few other citizen type things and use it for any Catholic High school in the archdiocese. It is a pretty awesome chance because Catholic high school is really expensive. You have to have grades over 90 (out of 100) across the board from 6th grade up til the test in 8th grade to even test to try to get the academic one. Then you have to write a crazy long essay about why you should be chosen.
Five of us qualified to take the test. One bowed out because he was going to private school that was Catholic but not covered. Best boys school in the city. His score would have blown us all away or bumped us down a notch at least so we weren't complaining.
First the announced that a classmate had gotten a partial scholarship for community leadership. Jason is in an actual string band can you believe it? He plays and marches in costume and everything. How cool is that?? he is really nice to everyone even me and doesn't make snide comments at/ about me like most the kids so I really think he deserves it and will be a great example some day to whoever he is around and that is what being a leader is about, right?
Then on to the academic ones. 1600 kids tested of the kids who qualified. Chances are small one of us would get never mind more than one. I gripped my desk sooo hard running over in my head how I need to smile and not cry and congratulate whoever got it if it isn't me. And of course if it is me how I need to be gracious and not be too excited with those who didn't watching.
They announce Steven first. Partial academic! $1000 off each year's tuition! I know his mom will be thrilled she is so nice! Three of us left who took the test...
Paul is next! Full Academic! Our school got THREE of the scholarships available!!! Only 26 academic ones going out this year and we got 2 of em!!
But they weren't done!!! Molly got a full academic! That is me!!! I was in shock! My grace went out the window I was grinning ear to ear! I can go to Catholic school! My part time job will cover my uniform and stuff or at least help enough that it is a non issue! Public schools are starting to wear uniforms anyway.
Only one of us did not get something... Lisa. She seemed pretty upset. I think she needed this as much as I did to be able to go to Catholic school. I don't say much to her as I don't know what to say. But I feel really bad for being so excited in front of her.
Before Pastor an Sister Susan leave they tell me I need to come to the principal's office, not al the winners just me. Anytime you are asked to do that, even if you have done nothing wrong, you get a really heavy scared feeling in your stomach. Well I do anyway. I am always worried I am in trouble for something. My know it all attitude is bad for my health.
I walk in the office and their are a ton of roses on Sister Susan's desk. I can't help but gasp and compliment her on her flowers. Hey I like flowers! Then you won't believe it but she tells me they are for ME!!!! One of the schools I applied to and got a partial scholarship at sent them for me :) They have me call and immediately thank them (and my mom made me call from home again).
I LOVE the flowers but now mom and Sister Jane say I HAVE to go to that school. I mean it seemed a good idea before they offered me the biggest scholarship and offered to help me find aid for the rest of tuition but now I can choose ANY school and I kind of want to research them all. I mean I didn't ask them to send me flowers and never said I wasn't looking at other schools. I even had some other, though smaller, scholarship offers. Ugh I don't know! I guess we will see maybe they will let me look around a bit.
(THE NEXT DAY)
Wow Lisa was REALLY pissed at school today. We were talking about our scholarships at recess and she flipped out saying her mom said if James (the kid who qualified but didn't test because he was going to private school), had taken the test NONE of us would have gotten scholarships. I tried to tell her that doesn't make sense as he would have only bumped EVERYONE who got one by one spot so only one less person of all 26 would have gotten one and maybe someone who got full would have been bumped to partial but she was too upset to listen. She is going to the best public school in the city. It is all girls and you have to "get in" not everyone can go. Well second best i guess there is a magnet program at a co ed school that is really hard to get into and the only way I would have been allowed to go co ed was getting into that program. Anyway not a big deal but was worth noting after my almost essay I wrote you yesterday! Haha I hope whoever finds this one day doesn't think I am crazy! I promise I am not!
Molly's Life Part 1 ~ I like boys
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
You will realize this is a bit more rambly than the normal stories I write. I am trying very hard to write this series as if it came from a diary.
This means the grammar may be horrid at times especially in early entries. I was always better at editing after the fact than I was at writing with good grammar. My brain moved faster than I could possibly type. In some ways I am modeling molly's journey after mine. Maybe not the stories but the growth and realizations reached.
I didn't date my diary as a child and I am modeling it after that format. It may seem a bit muddied but I will do my best to let you see how much time has elapsed between entries. My current outline jumps sometimes only days, sometimes years.
NO part of this story is meant to resemble anyone in real life. it is a work of fiction. If you know me well you may recognize some events or people who have had their names changed (or maybe not changed). Don't ask me "is this part real?" or "is that how it really happened?" or "did he really say that?" because I won't answer except to say "Whatever do you mean, that blog is a work of fiction, it says so in the title!"
This story starts out written the way I used to write in my diary. It would sit for months, even years not written in and then I would fill an entire journal in the span of a week and start a new one only to taper off again.
I love you all and hope this new venture and method of telling the story in my head is easy for you to eventually follow and I hope it finds you rooting for Molly's happily ever after as we watch her blossom into an adult. I know I am :)
UPDATE from the author: Molly's life is now being turned into a novel highlighting the trials of her adult life and how they tie in to the ups and downs highlighted in her diary. I hope to have finalized excerpts published soon for all of you who have been cheering her through her childhood. I will be publishing hopefully in print as well is in the more modern "e" formats as funds permit. I plan on continuing more detailed short stories about Molly and the people she met along the way after publication.
I Like Boys--
My name is Molly and I am hot. No no wait, I don't mean I am HOT. Like I am not pretty or sexy or anything. I am just a kid. But it is REALLY hot out and I have to stay outside but I am not allowed under the hose because I am grounded so I am pretty grumpy about it.
Let me give you my sob story first so you know I am not just a miserable brat. Well, I wasn't always a miserable brat. I was taken in by this family when I was barely over a year old, so pretty lucky to get taken out of orphanages so young. yeah yeah I know I could have been starving and living in dorms with neglected foster kids. This family really wanted kids and couldn't have any. So they took in me and a few other kids. The one I most remember was Kenneth. He was still around by the time I was in kindergarten and the others were long gone. So I can picture Kenny's face and remember conversations. I guess he was too bad for my new mom to handle. I am told he pushed her into a washer while she was pregnant and it was a final straw kinda thing. I don't remember that happening I remember us fighting over toys (he always had the better ones in my opinion I am such a tomboy) and I remember the day he left.
I was a goody two shoe obsessed with perfect attendance and didn't want to miss school so I went even though mom was going to let me stay home. I cried before, I cried on the way and I fought the tears in school. I think about him now years later but not much I can do about it. He calls and leaves messages on my birthday. Our parties are always on the Saturday closest to the day after 5pm vigil mass. he often calls during the party. Always makes me smile thinking about it after because it is like a nice dig at my mom it seems. Making sure no one forgets that he existed. She doesn't let me answer the phone but it still makes my day hearing his voice.
So now I am the one with a smart mouth. I shirk off the chores I get because they are so non stop and get in some minor trouble mostly being bored. I am pretty much always grounded. You can decide later if I deserve it or not I am pretty biased on the subject. Those parents that adopted me? Well now they have 5 kids. I am the oldest, the only adopted child. The oldest natural child is the "favorite" it is her picture in 8 x 10s on our great grandmom's wall, not mine. In fact last time I was there the only picture I saw of me was a little wallet sized in a frame with a bunch of other wallet sized pictures.
OK you get the picture. I feel a bit left out and I am gonna whine about it some. I hope you can bear with me. This isn't some great American novel. It is just my life the best way I know how to tell it. I am gonna ramble and rant and rave and stain the pages with tears. Please forgive me that.
So back to today! Did I mention it is HOT. The pool is being filled now it is finally clean. but I will be grounded and not allowed in it anyway even though I had to get in and scrub all the winter growth and stuff from the pool being empty. Why we didn't wait until summer to replace the old ripped liner I will never know.
School is out and the neighbor's have their pool running and are having a get together as well. Seems summer is one long BBQ on our block. Next door we have Mrs. Hallow. She is older and not so fond of kids i don't think but her son, his wife and their kids live there with her so they are always having parties and BBQs as well. She isn't outside often. The kids next door are nice to me. Jenny is younger than me by a couple years and her mom has me walk her to school just to get me away from my mom a bit earlier in the morning I think. Oh and she sneaks me Teddy Grahams since my mom says I am hyper and I can't have sugar. I like Jenny's mom oh and she let's me call her by her first name, Deborah. That is pretty cool for an adult in this neighborhood.
Then there is her son who is older than me by a few years. He is a pain. Always teasing me. I guess I don't mind because in a small way he kinda replaces Kenny. Kenny and I used to fight like that like real brother and sister. he calls me Cinderella because I am always outside sweeping the front and alleyway. My mom can't stand to have any dirt on it, even in the cracks.
That isn't the most interesting thing next door. They always have a parade of guests. Deborah has 2 sisters and they have kids. Well 2 sisters who are over all the time anyway I don't know her family tree obviously. The one sister, Miss Laura, has 2 kids that I like the best. They are both younger than I am, the girl more noticeably so but not by much. One of those things people won't even realize when we are adults but seems such a huge gap now. I like her hair. Mine is so straight and such a pain... but I could write an entire story on that! Jessica and her brother, John. Ugh he is so cute. Not baby face cute or super duper abs cute just one of those smiles that makes you melt. A bit skinny and VERY much out of my league.
You see I am a teacher's pet. I get in minor trouble I mentioned. Talking back, caught shoplifting twice even... But mostly the only trouble people have with me is I am too smart and kiss ass for my own good. My handwriting is terrible simply because my brain cannot slow down enough to form the letters. Some teachers try to teach me a lesson about sucking up and thinking I am clever by finishing my tests first. they fail me in handwriting to keep me from honors. I am smart enough to know this won't mean crap on grade school transcripts. Heck they say doctors and lawyers have the WORST handwriting and pretty sure they make a ton of money.
So enough background eh? Let's get back to today. Today is the day I start to like boys. This will be huge for me, dear reader. I have already had crushes (like the one older kid, David, I won't mention who always smiles sooo big for me I think he likes me and blush and turn away). But deep down I know these crushes aren't in my league. I had a "boyfriend" in first through third grade but I was way out of his league. He was sweet. He put gum in my hair to flirt with me though and got me in trouble.
Today I noticed John. He wasn't in uniform for school like I normally see him. In fact he was shivering from getting out of the pool and soaking wet and not looking anywhere near what you would normally call his best look. His lips were pursed like he was thinking and he looked over at me and caught me looking. he looked at me for a long moment like considering how to react and then gave me a very sly smile. Oh dear reader I will NEVER forget that smile! I think I am in love!
I am sitting here very carefully trying to watch him since I have to sit out here anyway but can't talk to him sadly. He came over and tried a little earlier before he changed and got in the pool. Thing is anytime my mom sees me talking to someone it becomes a fight. Either I am not out here t have fun she is just "allowing me" some fresh air to be nice even though I am grounded OR the total opposite and it becomes a long term ting to constantly use against me. Caught me talking to Robbie (Jenny's older brother, Deborah next door's son) and it hasn't stopped in over a year the teasing. He isn't looking over much now since I pushed him off but oh my gosh when he does... it is like he is looking right into my eyes and telling me he knows everything about me. He couldn't possibly but it is a nice, warm feeling.
I have a secret rafter kind of behind the wall in the basement where my dad out up false walls where I keep the journal that I am writing all of this dear reader. You will notice I go for months sometimes not writing at all then I write every day for awhile. This was big, this had to be written. Because dear reader today I realized I have met my future husband.
End part 1
You will realize this is a bit more rambly than the normal stories I write. I am trying very hard to write this series as if it came from a diary.
This means the grammar may be horrid at times especially in early entries. I was always better at editing after the fact than I was at writing with good grammar. My brain moved faster than I could possibly type. In some ways I am modeling molly's journey after mine. Maybe not the stories but the growth and realizations reached.
I didn't date my diary as a child and I am modeling it after that format. It may seem a bit muddied but I will do my best to let you see how much time has elapsed between entries. My current outline jumps sometimes only days, sometimes years.
NO part of this story is meant to resemble anyone in real life. it is a work of fiction. If you know me well you may recognize some events or people who have had their names changed (or maybe not changed). Don't ask me "is this part real?" or "is that how it really happened?" or "did he really say that?" because I won't answer except to say "Whatever do you mean, that blog is a work of fiction, it says so in the title!"
This story starts out written the way I used to write in my diary. It would sit for months, even years not written in and then I would fill an entire journal in the span of a week and start a new one only to taper off again.
I love you all and hope this new venture and method of telling the story in my head is easy for you to eventually follow and I hope it finds you rooting for Molly's happily ever after as we watch her blossom into an adult. I know I am :)
UPDATE from the author: Molly's life is now being turned into a novel highlighting the trials of her adult life and how they tie in to the ups and downs highlighted in her diary. I hope to have finalized excerpts published soon for all of you who have been cheering her through her childhood. I will be publishing hopefully in print as well is in the more modern "e" formats as funds permit. I plan on continuing more detailed short stories about Molly and the people she met along the way after publication.
I Like Boys--
My name is Molly and I am hot. No no wait, I don't mean I am HOT. Like I am not pretty or sexy or anything. I am just a kid. But it is REALLY hot out and I have to stay outside but I am not allowed under the hose because I am grounded so I am pretty grumpy about it.
Let me give you my sob story first so you know I am not just a miserable brat. Well, I wasn't always a miserable brat. I was taken in by this family when I was barely over a year old, so pretty lucky to get taken out of orphanages so young. yeah yeah I know I could have been starving and living in dorms with neglected foster kids. This family really wanted kids and couldn't have any. So they took in me and a few other kids. The one I most remember was Kenneth. He was still around by the time I was in kindergarten and the others were long gone. So I can picture Kenny's face and remember conversations. I guess he was too bad for my new mom to handle. I am told he pushed her into a washer while she was pregnant and it was a final straw kinda thing. I don't remember that happening I remember us fighting over toys (he always had the better ones in my opinion I am such a tomboy) and I remember the day he left.
I was a goody two shoe obsessed with perfect attendance and didn't want to miss school so I went even though mom was going to let me stay home. I cried before, I cried on the way and I fought the tears in school. I think about him now years later but not much I can do about it. He calls and leaves messages on my birthday. Our parties are always on the Saturday closest to the day after 5pm vigil mass. he often calls during the party. Always makes me smile thinking about it after because it is like a nice dig at my mom it seems. Making sure no one forgets that he existed. She doesn't let me answer the phone but it still makes my day hearing his voice.
So now I am the one with a smart mouth. I shirk off the chores I get because they are so non stop and get in some minor trouble mostly being bored. I am pretty much always grounded. You can decide later if I deserve it or not I am pretty biased on the subject. Those parents that adopted me? Well now they have 5 kids. I am the oldest, the only adopted child. The oldest natural child is the "favorite" it is her picture in 8 x 10s on our great grandmom's wall, not mine. In fact last time I was there the only picture I saw of me was a little wallet sized in a frame with a bunch of other wallet sized pictures.
OK you get the picture. I feel a bit left out and I am gonna whine about it some. I hope you can bear with me. This isn't some great American novel. It is just my life the best way I know how to tell it. I am gonna ramble and rant and rave and stain the pages with tears. Please forgive me that.
So back to today! Did I mention it is HOT. The pool is being filled now it is finally clean. but I will be grounded and not allowed in it anyway even though I had to get in and scrub all the winter growth and stuff from the pool being empty. Why we didn't wait until summer to replace the old ripped liner I will never know.
School is out and the neighbor's have their pool running and are having a get together as well. Seems summer is one long BBQ on our block. Next door we have Mrs. Hallow. She is older and not so fond of kids i don't think but her son, his wife and their kids live there with her so they are always having parties and BBQs as well. She isn't outside often. The kids next door are nice to me. Jenny is younger than me by a couple years and her mom has me walk her to school just to get me away from my mom a bit earlier in the morning I think. Oh and she sneaks me Teddy Grahams since my mom says I am hyper and I can't have sugar. I like Jenny's mom oh and she let's me call her by her first name, Deborah. That is pretty cool for an adult in this neighborhood.
Then there is her son who is older than me by a few years. He is a pain. Always teasing me. I guess I don't mind because in a small way he kinda replaces Kenny. Kenny and I used to fight like that like real brother and sister. he calls me Cinderella because I am always outside sweeping the front and alleyway. My mom can't stand to have any dirt on it, even in the cracks.
That isn't the most interesting thing next door. They always have a parade of guests. Deborah has 2 sisters and they have kids. Well 2 sisters who are over all the time anyway I don't know her family tree obviously. The one sister, Miss Laura, has 2 kids that I like the best. They are both younger than I am, the girl more noticeably so but not by much. One of those things people won't even realize when we are adults but seems such a huge gap now. I like her hair. Mine is so straight and such a pain... but I could write an entire story on that! Jessica and her brother, John. Ugh he is so cute. Not baby face cute or super duper abs cute just one of those smiles that makes you melt. A bit skinny and VERY much out of my league.
You see I am a teacher's pet. I get in minor trouble I mentioned. Talking back, caught shoplifting twice even... But mostly the only trouble people have with me is I am too smart and kiss ass for my own good. My handwriting is terrible simply because my brain cannot slow down enough to form the letters. Some teachers try to teach me a lesson about sucking up and thinking I am clever by finishing my tests first. they fail me in handwriting to keep me from honors. I am smart enough to know this won't mean crap on grade school transcripts. Heck they say doctors and lawyers have the WORST handwriting and pretty sure they make a ton of money.
So enough background eh? Let's get back to today. Today is the day I start to like boys. This will be huge for me, dear reader. I have already had crushes (like the one older kid, David, I won't mention who always smiles sooo big for me I think he likes me and blush and turn away). But deep down I know these crushes aren't in my league. I had a "boyfriend" in first through third grade but I was way out of his league. He was sweet. He put gum in my hair to flirt with me though and got me in trouble.
Today I noticed John. He wasn't in uniform for school like I normally see him. In fact he was shivering from getting out of the pool and soaking wet and not looking anywhere near what you would normally call his best look. His lips were pursed like he was thinking and he looked over at me and caught me looking. he looked at me for a long moment like considering how to react and then gave me a very sly smile. Oh dear reader I will NEVER forget that smile! I think I am in love!
I am sitting here very carefully trying to watch him since I have to sit out here anyway but can't talk to him sadly. He came over and tried a little earlier before he changed and got in the pool. Thing is anytime my mom sees me talking to someone it becomes a fight. Either I am not out here t have fun she is just "allowing me" some fresh air to be nice even though I am grounded OR the total opposite and it becomes a long term ting to constantly use against me. Caught me talking to Robbie (Jenny's older brother, Deborah next door's son) and it hasn't stopped in over a year the teasing. He isn't looking over much now since I pushed him off but oh my gosh when he does... it is like he is looking right into my eyes and telling me he knows everything about me. He couldn't possibly but it is a nice, warm feeling.
I have a secret rafter kind of behind the wall in the basement where my dad out up false walls where I keep the journal that I am writing all of this dear reader. You will notice I go for months sometimes not writing at all then I write every day for awhile. This was big, this had to be written. Because dear reader today I realized I have met my future husband.
End part 1
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